An Unbreakable Bond
by Metisse
Summary: Kind of a postep for Brother's Keeper. BA shippy.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, Dick Wolf owns everything. **

**A/N: I know a lot of these have been done but since I just started writing, I have a lot of catching up to do and seeing Brother's Keeper again last night, these thoughts popped to mind.**

**An Unbreakable Bond **

Alex was watching Bobby as he was babbling about his brother selling his coat and making excuses for him. Something about everyone needing money. She nodded when she realized he was looking at her and had apparently asked her if she agreed. As he walked out of the morgue, she followed closely behind him, glancing at ME Rodgers who stood watching them silently. A look of understanding passed between them as Rodgers smiled sadly at Eames.

Wordlessly the two detectives got into the SUV and headed back to 1PP. Alex wanted to say something to him but she had no idea what would be appropriate. She couldn't really gauge Bobby's emotions when her own were in such turmoil. Mostly she was just going back and forth between wanting to hug Bobby and comfort him and wanting to beat the crap out of Frank if she ever got a chance.

"He never showed up on her birthday," Bobby said as he stared out the window. "That's why I thought...I was sure...it...it was going to be him."

Now Alex really wanted to throttle Frank Goren. She glanced over at her partner who continued to stare out the window. They had reached 1PP. It was a short drive to the ME's office. She parked the SUV and started to get out when she noticed Bobby wasn't moving.

"Bobby?"

Her voice pulled Bobby out of his rather depressing thoughts. He hadn't even noticed they had stopped. He glanced at Alex, who was wearing an incredibly worried look on her face.

"Sorry...I was just thinking..." he said as he got out of the SUV and joined her on the way to the elevator.

"You don't have to go back to the office, Bobby. I'm sure Ross will understand if you just went home. I can get the paperwork finished," Alex offered.

Bobby glanced at her and shook his head, "No, I...I can't let you do that. You've been covering for me a lot lately and...I just...I just want to feel useful."

Alex was surprised by his comment. They had just stepped into the elevator. "What are you talking about? You're useful...you got Corliss to confess."

"Yea...well..." Bobby smiled sadly, "I guess maybe I'm more useful at work than anywhere else."

The elevator doors opened and Bobby stepped out, heading towards his desk. Alex caught up to him and grabbed his arm. "Bobby..."

"Detectives, what are you doing back here?" Ross interupted as he spotted them entering the bull pen.

"It wasn't my brother. Just someone who had his coat with my card in one of the pockets," Bobby said as if that would explain it all.

Ross looked at Bobby with concern. While they had their differences, Ross respected Goren and sympathized with his current situation. He also didn't want his best detective to wear himself out. Even if it hadn't been his brother in the morgue, just the thought of it must have been incredibly stressful.

"Look, it's been a long day. You two can finish up the paperwork on the Corliss case tomorrow. Go home, both of you," Ross told Bobby and Alex.

This was about as much as Bobby could take. Now even Ross was feeling sorry for him. How pitiful was he that Ross would feel sorry for him? He wanted to scream at Ross. Not that he had done anything to warrant that but he was the closest target and at that particular instant, Bobby was feeling incredibly self-destructive. An irrational anger started rising in his stomach as he looked at Ross.

Before he could open his mouth, he felt a light touch on his back. Alex could sense Bobby was about to explode. She couldn't let him do that. Ross may have been feeling sympathtic but he wouldn't put up with Bobby yelling at him because he couldn't yell at his brother - who was the real cause of his current state as far as Alex could tell. All Bobby needed was to get himself suspended over something stupid like getting upset over Ross actually being nice to him.

Bobby looked over a Alex who stepped in front of him, putting herself between the Captain and Bobby. "Thanks, Captain. We could _both_ use the break," she said, looking back at Bobby to give him a warning look that Ross couldn't see.

Ross nodded, "Good. Take a couple of hours in the morning if you have to as well."

Alex nodded, "Thanks again, Captain."

Looking at his two detectives, Ross wasn't quite sure what was going on but he sensed once again, Eames was trying to shield Goren from him...or perhaps this time it was the other way around? He was always impressed by the way they seemed to communicate with each other without even saying a word. It was both impressive and unsettling at the same time.

"I just don't want you two to overwork yourselves. You're no good to the department if you get yourselves sick," Ross said to both of them but they all knew he was primarily referring to Goren. With that he turned and headed back to his office.

Letting out a sigh, Bobby rubbed the back of his neck and stared at his shoes to avoid looking at his partner. "Sorry," he said so softly she barely heard him.

"Not as sorry as you would have been," Alex said as she turned to face him. "Come on, you're gonna make it up to me. I'm hungry and you're buying dinner."

Looking at her and seeing that she was not angry but concerned, Bobby sighed with relief and nodded. He wasn't hungry at all but buying her dinner meant he would get to spend more time with her. Normally going home and being alone provided some peace for him after solving a case. Tonight, however, was a different story. His mother was dying and he thought he had lost his brother tonight. Frank may not be much of a brother these days but Bobby remembered better times when they were younger and Frank tried to look out for him before he got so beaten down and tired of dealing with their parents that he just lost himself.

Even if it wasn't Frank lying dead in that morgue, Bobby still had no idea where his brother was right now and he had no idea when he'd see him again. For all he knew his brother was lying dead somewhere else. It left him with no one. No one except Alex.

Looking at his slumped shoulders and the look of fatigue on his face, Alex felt a pang of guilt. He really did have a very rough day...maybe he just wants to go home and be alone. She smiled at Bobby, "Hey, if you want to do this some other night..."

"No, no it's fine, I...I do owe you and I don't...I don't want to be...um...I'd like some company tonight," Bobby stammered, once again staring down at his shoes.

It never ceased to amaze Alex that some how the 6'4" bulk of a man who was her partner, could manage to look so much like a lost little boy. She smiled at him encouragingly, "All right, then. Let's go."

_**tbc...**_


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: Okay, back to this one. I'm kind of working on both this one and Defining Moments at the same time so forgive me if this one takes longer to complete. _

**An Unbreakable Bond - Chapter 2**

Half an hour later, Bobby and Alex were seated at one of their favorite Italian restaurants, drinking wine and waiting for their food.

"I'm sorry about earlier," Bobby stated again. "I just couldn't take pity from Ross."

"I know Ross is brash and a lot more intense than Deakins but he's basically a good guy. You two just seem to rub each other the wrong way."

Nodding at his partner, Bobby stared out the window at the people passing by on the street. "I'm just tired of not being trusted by him. What the hell do I have do to prove to him I'm capable of doing my job?"

"He knows you are more than capable of doing your job, Bobby. He refers to you as his 'best detective.' I doubt he'd do that if he didn't think it was true." Alex looked at Bobby, hoping he was listening. He had that expression on his face that told her he was someplace other than in that restaurant with her right at that moment.

With a sigh, Bobby turned his head to look at her. Alex Eames. The woman who put up with him for the last six years. He knew if it weren't for her, he would be on suspension right now. Knowing his short history with Ross so far, he probably would have been out of a job.

"So, where did you go?" Alex asked, taking a sip of wine as he once again returned her gaze. Since his mother had been diagnosed with cancer, Bobby had been lost in his own thoughts a lot more than usual. It worried Alex to see him like this and it made her feel quite helpless.

"Sorry, I...I was just wondering how long I'd have been suspended or...or if I'd even...have a job if you weren't there," Bobby replied honestly.

Alex smiled, "You'd probably have a job but you might not have been allowed to do it for a few weeks."

Bobby shook his head, "No, its...not just tonight. Ross just seems to hate me. I think the only reason he puts up with me is because...because you keep stepping in on my behalf."

"Ross doesn't understand you yet. Deakins took a while, too. Even then you'd sometimes come up with things that would cause the man a major migraine," Alex chuckled, recalling some of Bobby's stunts that caused Deakins to plead with Alex to tell him that Bobby hadn't really done what it was reported that he had.

"Yea, but he didn't seem to hang over my shoulder like he didn't trust me to do my job," Bobby sighed. He really missed his old Captain.

"That's just the way Ross is with everyone. You just make him nervous because he you're unpredictable. He's a control freak, Bobby. You're not fond of being controlled. It's not a good mix but I think he does respect your abilities as a detective," Alex said thoughtfully. "And he also admires your dedication to your family. Family seems to be very important to him," Alex added as she recalled his mentioning having Thanksgiving with his sons and his ex and her new husband or boyfriend or whatever he was.

"Well, I'll give him that much, he's trying to be a good father at least," Bobby said softly, recalling his own mostly absent father who pretty much deserted the family when Bobby was only eleven.

Alex smiled, "I'm sure you two will learn to get along better. You better or else I'll have to kill you both because being stuck in the middle of two bull-headed, know-it-alls will make me go postal eventually."

For the first time that evening, Bobby laughed.

Their food arrived and they ate in companionable silence for the most part, punctuated with occasional talk about the case they just closed and everything except Bobby's mother and his brother Frank.

Alex kept her eye on Bobby, watching to see if he was really relaxed or if he was just trying to convince her so she would stop worrying. For the most part he seemed relaxed. He smiled and he joked with her but Alex could tell by the way he held his shoulders that he was still tense and she could sense that he was still shaken to the core ever since they got the word that there was a body in the morgue with Bobby's card in his coat pocket. Alex worried more about Bobby than he would ever know.

Frank Goren was nothing more than a name to her for years. She hadn't even learned his name until the Garret case when Judge Garrett decided to try and go after the reputations of the detectives who had built a murder case against him. It was in that file he had on Bobby. She had glimpsed the names of his father, mother and brother.

Bobby rarely talked about his family except in passing. All she knew about Frank Goren was that he was Bobby's older brother, he once almost took Bobby's eye out with a toy when they were kids, he had a gambling and a drug or alcohol problem - she wasn't sure which, he hated it when their mother made him take Bobby along with him when he went to play with his friends and now she knew he was homeless and out of touch with both Bobby and their mother. She also knew he apparently was an ingrate who had sold the coat Bobby had given him off his back for money to do who knows what with and he didn't even care enough to keep Bobby's card so he could keep in touch with him.

The more she knew about Frank Goren, the more she decided she didn't like him. Watching Bobby give him that coat just made her want to run out there and hug him. It was heartbreaking to see how guilty he felt about finding his brother standing in that line at the church with the other vagrants waiting for a handout. At that time she felt sympathy for Frank as well. She had no idea what had happened to him but she thought it was a miracle, coming from the background they did, that Bobby hadn't turned out that way as well.

Now, however, she felt nothing but contempt for Frank. His thoughtless actions had apparently put a knife in Bobby's heart and this was something that he just didn't need in his life. He had no control over his mother's illness. Bobby had told Alex about his discussion with her doctor. Yet another piece of Bobby's heart was being torn apart. Alex was afraid he wouldn't survive his family at this rate.

Towards the end of their meal Bobby was staring out the window once again. Alex was having a cup of coffee to help her stay awake on the drive home later. She wondered if he was thinking of his mother or his brother. Probably both.

Watching people walking past the window, Bobby wondered where Frank really was at that moment. Was he lying dead in some alley? Was he using the money he got from selling Bobby's coat to get food or was he out gambling with it? Perhaps he fell off the wagon again.

As he looked away from the window at his partner, he sighed. She was watching him in that way she had that made it look like she wasn't. "Sorry," he apologized, "I guess I'm just not great company tonight."

Alex smiled, "You're fine. Sometimes talking is highly over rated."

Once again, Bobby found himself smiling, despite himself. Alex had a way of doing that to him. Whether through some smart aleck comment, standing up for him when no one else would or just by being beautiful, Alex Eames provided more comfort to Bobby than she would ever know.

"I just can't stop worrying about my brother. I don't know...one minute I'm...I want to see him again so I can help him and...and the next I'm just...I find myself thoroughly disgusted by him..." Bobby's voice faded as he once again gazed out the window. "Then...then I feel guilty."

"You have nothing to feel guilty about! Your brother..." Alex paused to find a tactful way to express her thoughts of Frank Goren to his brother. "He...he doesn't seem to care about anyone but himself, Bobby. You can't force him to..."

"I could have tried harder to...to keep in touch. I didn't have to write him off...to tell him...tell him he's no better than...than our father," Bobby stared out the window, avoiding Alex's gaze.

It was all Alex could do to not cry. After taking a deep breath and digging the nails of her left hand into her palm to keep herself under control she spoke softly, "From what I've seen, maybe you're right."

Feeling the sting of tears in his eyes, Bobby rubbed his face with his hands and tried to swallow the lump in his throat. "He wasn't...Frank...he wasn't always like...like this. It's just...it was too much...mom...both of our parents..." Bobby found his voice failing him as the lump returned to his throat and he could feel his dinner sitting like a stone in his stomach.

"You're right, I don't suppose it was any easier for your brother than it was for you," Alex jumped in as she noticed his discomfort. "But you...you managed to over come all of it and no matter how much they hurt you..." Bobby looked up at her, his eyes, even darker than they normally were, glistened with the tears he could no longer hold back.

Alex looked down at her coffee cup as she continued, "I'm just afraid your family...they're slowly killing you, Bobby and if it hurts me to see it, I can't imagine what it's like..."

Bobby reached out and grabbed Alex's hand tightly. It surprised her. As close as they were, rarely did they touch each other unless they were undercover as husband and wife. Now here he was holding onto her as if he were a drowning man holding onto a life line.

"Don't," he said simply. "I...I appreciate what...what you're saying but...just...I can't...deal with this right now...I'm...sorry."

"It's okay, I'm sorry if I stepped over one of our boundaries but I'm scared for you, Bobby," Alex confessed, still staring intently at her cup of coffee. "It's selfish but I don't know what I'd do if..."

"Can we have this conversation somewhere else, please," Bobby asked, releasing her hand and motioning to their waiter so he could pay their bill and they could leave. He got her attention and held her gaze as she nodded, feeling slightly nervous at the direction she had suddenly sent this discussion.

Bobby was feeling very self-conscious at the moment. He wasn't sure why but he felt that the conversation was heading in a direction that would best be had in private, not in a public restaurant for any passer by to see or overhear.

After paying for their dinner, Bobby followed Alex out of the restaurant. He lived just two blocks away and Alex had parked at his building. They walked in silence, each one lost in their own thoughts, their hands in the pockets of their coats and staring straight ahead.

_**tbc...**_


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Dick Wolf owns it all. I'm just borrowing.**

_A/N: Some of the things in this chapter I've taken from a couple of my other stories - Defining Moments and A Charmed Life. You don't have to read them to understand but it might help. ;-)_

An Unbreakable Bond - Chapter 3

Bobby opened the door to his apartment and stepped back to let Alex in first. Neither of them had spoken a word since leaving the restaurant. Removing their coats and hanging them on the coat rack inside the door, they both moved into his living room. Alex sat on the couch and Bobby headed over to the window where he stared out at the city.

"Do you want more coffee?" he offered after finally turning to look at Alex, who sat quietly watching him.

She shook her head, "No, I'm good." _Well, now that's a lie. I'm certainly NOT good right now. _ Alex wondered why she had started her little confession in the restaurant. The last thing Bobby needed right now was to know how much she had come to depend on his presence in her life. He was worried about his mother and his brother and she didn't want him to start worrying about her.

She apparently wasn't going to help him get things started so after pacing a few times in his living room, Bobby finally sat on the coffee table so he could face Alex directly.

"I know I've been kind of...that I haven't been able to be there for you much lately. At work or...or personally with your counseling sessions..." he began.

A couple of months after her mandatory counseling sessions had ended, Alex found herself needing a little more guidance and found herself voluntarily going back on a monthly basis. Bobby had encouraged her to seek the help and was often there immediately after to make sure she was all right. Lately, he hadn't been able to be there for her.

A pang of guilt ran through Alex as saw the pain and regret in Bobby's eyes. She shook her head and put a hand up to stop him. "No, Bobby, I didn't mean to put any guilt trips on you. I just...I'm just worried about you and I guess I was just trying to let you know how important you are to me. It's hard to watch someone you l...you care about be in so much pain."

Bobby's heart skipped a beat. _She was going to say someone you love. _ He smiled at Alex and once again took her tiny hand in his large one. "That means more to me than you know."

"Your mom, I know she's...it's not her fault for the way things are with her. But your brother, he's another story," Alex began. "I know he's your brother and you feel responsible..."

"I _am_ responsible, Eames. Just like you are responsible for your brothers and sisters. You're...you're family and...he's not much but he's mine. I can't just...ignore him."

Alex shook her head, "No, I'm not saying that, I just think...I think you need to cut yourself some slack. I know you, I know what you were thinking when we...saw him there on the street."

_There's no hiding anything from her. _Bobby sighed, "When we were little, he used to take care of me. When...when my mom was having one of her more intense episodes and my dad was off gambling or drinking or screwing some other woman or maybe all three, Frank and I were on our own and he used to...to look out for us. Sometimes...he'd...I know he did some...illegal things to raise the money. He...he never told me...exactly...what he did but I figured he was...he was stealing at the very least. Dad...he used to be...he ignored me a lot." Bobby let go of Alex's hand and stood up, pacing a well worn path in his rug. "But...but Frank...he got the attention and...well, Dad sent him to the hospital once."

Alex felt tears welling in her eyes. She had known Bobby had a rough childhood and she long suspected there was some form of abuse in his family. She just didn't know for sure. Hearing him talking about it now was breaking her heart as she watched Bobby reliving that past. She almost made him stop but he seemed determined to continue so she sat and silently listened.

"Dad didn't...he and mom...were violent with each other...and sometimes he'd hit me or Frank but...usually it was Frank. I was too young to...to know any better...but Frank, he...he knew what was going on. Dad would go away for days...he'd say he...was working but...but Frank...Frank and my Mom, they knew...he was...gambling...or having an affair...and Frank...he started mouthing off...he got resentful."

Bobby was pacing back and forth and not looking at Alex at all. She was grateful for that because she felt the tears welling up in her eyes and was wiping them away with the futile hope that bobby wouldn't notice when he was done.

It was almost as if Bobby had forgotten that Alex was even there. "He wasn't the...the greatest brother...he left as soon as he turned 18. I...I don't know...if I ever...ever forgave him for that. When...when he came to me...for money...because he...he was broke or...he...I helped him, you know? At first...and then...he...he tried to...to steal from our mother! I...I just lost it! God, Eames, I almost...I could have killed him...I was so...so angry."

Bobby had stopped pacing and was looking out the window at the city lights. "I was tired...tired of being...used and lied to...by him...by my father...I just...they left me! They left me alone with my mother. And then...he'd show up and...do what our father did. He'd lie...and I knew he was lying but...but just like with my...my...my Dad, I just...I pretended it wasn't a lie because...because I wanted a family."

At this point, Alex just couldn't help herself. The tears were now streaming down her cheeks and she was glad Bobby wasn't looking at her. She wanted to hear this, no matter how painful. She wanted to understand.

"Frank...that last time...when he tried to steal...from our mother...our sick mother! She was already at Carmel Ridge...he...God...he just got me so angry. I told him...I told him...never again. I told him I never...wanted to see him again...that he...he was just like Dad. Frank...he...hated our father at the end...he...it was the ultimate insult." Bobby was now crying as well and he didn't care. "I didn't care...I didn't care that Frank had...had taken care of me...when we...we were little. He fed us...he even...stole...and God knows what else he did. I never knew. He...he never told me. He was...ashamed...I think. And God help me...I was ashamed of him. I judged him...maybe...maybe unfairly. He...did abandon me...and Mom...but I wonder if...if I were him...if I wouldn't have...maybe...I would have done the...the same."

"No, no you wouldn't have!" Alex blurted out, no longer able to control herself. She stood up from the couch and ran over to Bobby, grabbing his arm so he was facing her.

Turning to look at her, Bobby saw was surprised to find her in such close proximity. It made his pulse quicken.

"You have to know you're better than him! I saw you, I saw how much it hurt you to see Frank out there on the street. You...it broke my heart to see how much it hurt you. I felt sorry for him then, too. But tonight...Bobby, you...I just wanted to hurt him for what he did to you," Alex admitted. "I know he's your brother. I have brothers and I think I would probably feel the same way about them but...I can't stand to see you hurt and it just seems like there's nothing I can do..."

Bobby blinked in surprise. He noticed her eyes were red and puffy from crying and without thinking, he reached out and pulled her into an embrace. Under normal circumstances he would never have done this. It would have been too much for him to deal with. He had spent the better part of four years dealing with his feelings for her.

It had always been complicated. They had a great professional relationship. They were also good friends. Contrary to speculation and rumors that circulated around the department, they had never been more than that. It wasn't from lack of interest but from the need for distance for both of them. Bobby had found Alex to be an attractive woman from the moment he met her but he hadn't found himself attracted to her until he got to know her.

He had always kept those feelings in check and except for the time she was away on maternity leave and he was saddled with a temporary partner, he never let his feelings for her get the better of him. Lately, however, it was becoming harder and harder to do. Tonight it was suddenly just impossible.

Surprised to find herself embraced in her partner's arms, Alex wasn't sure whether to feel glad that he was finally letting his guard down around her or if she should be concerned. In her case, her feelings for Bobby were also something she tended to be guarded over. She had spent her life since losing her husband eight years ago building up walls. No one had come close to breaching those protective barriers until Bobby came along and managed to slip in while she wasn't paying attention.

Since her kidnapping by Jo Gage, the daughter of Bobby's mentor Declan Gage, Alex found herself relying more and more on her partnership and friendship with Bobby to help her get through some emotional landmines. She couldn't trust herself with her family but she could trust herself with Bobby. He never pushed her and because he also had a need for privacy and distance, he felt safe and comfortable. Now she understood his fear of losing her from his life because she was feeling that same fear now.

Here they were now, in a rather intimate embrace in his apartment. Both of them allowed themselves a few minutes of comfort, then. Each gaining strength and comfort from the other.

"I'm sorry...that I worry you. But you know I'm going to be all right," Bobby said after a while.

"And how do I know that?"

"Because I know you won't let me NOT be all right," Bobby replied and he could feel Alex smiling as she rested her head against his chest.

Pulling away from him slightly Alex looked at him and nodded, "I'll do whatever it takes, Bobby. I promise I'll be there no matter what."

Feeling tears threatening to return once again, Bobby nodded and pulled her back to him. "It's the one thing that keeps me sane."

They stood there that way for a few more minutes before finally moving apart as Alex prepared to head home.

"Thanks for dinner," she said as she grabbed her purse and coat.

"Thanks for saving me from myself," Bobby said as he opened the door for her.

Alex smiled, "I have ulterior motives."

"Oh?"

"I look better at work when you're there for Ross to worry about," Alex winked.

Bobby laughed, "Glad I can be of sevice to you."

"See you tomorrow, Bobby."

"Good night Eames."

As he watched Alex walk down the hall towards the elevator, Bobby felt at peace. His family may have abandoned him but he knew now that no matter what Alex would be there for him. Their bond had been tested under the stressful circumstances of the past year but they had come through it stronger. For the first time in his life, Bobby knew what it meant to have someone to count on and no matter where he ended up at the end of it all, he and Alex would always be connected somehow.

**THE END**


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